Entangled Wires!

Yes...this name! Because everything seems to be so messy, so confusing, making me feel anguish at times.
But today, I would like to thank god for giving me such inner strength that now I try to carry that wide smile on my face...and I mean that to you lord.
This time I decided not to write about just any topic but me. So guys...here comes my story in a simple way that most of us understand.

Been married for more than 5 years now and the most obvious question prevalent is - "Hey! long time now...Both of you (as in my husband and me) must seriously think on being parents now" or "Listen..I have some XYZ doctor, why don't you guys visit her. Oh, she got 2 of my friends blessed with babies"! Last but not the least "There is a time you have to be serious, set your priorities in life and be responsible towards it".

Now my version: Heyyyy!!! Do you even know what all we have been through..Heyy...do you even know what it means to be what we have been through! We pray to god that no one ever should be through the phase we are still trying to overcome. We reached extreme level of seriousness that you would get goosebumps listening to it (am sure this very filmy dialogue must have made you all the more curious :)). We have set priority in our life - to live it big.The moment we try to be like very normal, you guys can't take it..right?? There comes in all your suggestions pouring for us - do this, do that and all that sneak peak.

                                   

Well, I totally respect whatever suggestion you give, whatever advice you give but before saying anything to anyone especially on few such sensitive topics, we should actually put our foot in that person shoes and try to walk few steps. I swear either the shoe would be that tight that you would not be able to walk even a step further or it will be loose , thereby not forming a solid grip to take any step forward - in both the cases, the shoe did not suit you! Its meant for that person only so give him the freedom to walk in it. He is at least trying to that - Smart people like the ones reading it must have  extracted the message out it :)

You know those lines on your forehead that show up while you think something quite deep- yeah you got that! They sometimes show up as "?" to the person you wanted to ask all those things running in your mind.
You think the person does not know what you are thinking of instead sometimes it just so happens that the person does not make you feel that he has not only got hold of your thoughts but also he has to take  care of 2 things - 1. Your sentiments are not hurt and 2. Incarcerate himself so that he is not broken at any moment.

I am sure this is not just my story but many of us would relate to it in some way or the other.

No one can make out but how light and good am feeling by having said all this. Feeling a winner already :)

Do leave your comments and thoughts in the comment section. Lets read your mind now :).

A Broken Bridge

Yeah...I mean not that the bridge (connecting one end to another, so that we do not fall) is actually broken but yes, it is broken!

Confused??Not just here but so are we in our daily lives. Its not that the situations make us baffle but the fact that we are not decisive of what we are actually looking out for - not just in our careers but in our personal relationships as well. Agree it or not, but both are linked to each other - for some, it is directly proportional but for others its inversely.

We see and feel this happening almost everyday of our life but as usual we ignore it. Let me take a very generalized example - siblings who stay together in one big family (so called the Joint Family) grow up together and share a lot of emotional connect, which is often reflected by actions or words of belonging. We make promises of not changing ourselves, whatever come may. We then get married (or as a matter of fact when we are at the peak of  success in our career) new relations add on and we start living those relationships, which is good. But what about the ones we grew up with? What about that bond which was very much there all that time we were not married (or not that successful in our careers)?

Why do we stop expressing ourselves? What stops us? I have have these many questions running in my mind but then I get the answer - The Bridge (that connected us to one another) is broken. You see, in order that the bridge remains stronger, both the ends need to be hooked up to the corners so that the relation sustains.

Not only me but I think all of us would agree that new relations need more time and space so that they can nurture (sometimes at the stake of the older ones). This, damn it, this is the point where we start getting farther away from each other and then no bridge can ever connect us. Why do you want to sail all alone in that journey?Probably you are very happy (and we are of course happy because you are happy) with the new ones but at least look back once - WE are still waiting for you! Probably you do not talk much and you wish the best to happen for all your old ones but please, at least let them know once that you care for them - with the same bond of love that we  grew up with because - WE are still waiting for you!

This is not just limited to family/work periphery rather in this hush hush life of today, where we send our good wishes and talk over Whats App and FB, we have confined ourselves within the four walls of our presumptions only. Have you ever tried digging in that person who says "I am good" every time you meet him/her? Try to read the emotions and need of the hour of the person rather than "Feeling joyful with Reena" (That typical FB status). I think all those who have grown in 20th century can well relate to what I mean to say when I say that "I did be curiously waiting and eyeing on the landline waiting for it to ring on my Birthday" - Unfortunately, all these Bridges are broken! Mend them before its too late.

Is it an A or an A+

Well, you guessed it right. I am talking of the grades that define the magnitude of success your child would deserve. I mean really...is it? The kids and parents these days are jostling but all for the wrong reasons.

I remember we used to be super excited knowing that we were going to maternal grandparents' house. These days the kids cry out for Kidzania!
We did be waiting for our cousins to gather during holidays so that we could play and run around each other but today the kids wait for PS4s/Video games!

Is it really a generation difference?? No...its all mind game that we are playing  with none other than ourselves. Yes, we are heading towards a direction where we are teaching our kids to rise and set the sun as per their convenience. I mean, come on, I urge you to let that be a natural process. Let them feel the heat and grow as individuals that adds up to their experience. Do not write the pages of their book, rather, let them be the authors of their own!!

Me: Hey! what's up? Tell me one thing - I always see your child watching something or the other on  phone/tab. What is it?

Parent: Ahh..a routine. You know, my baby has to watch some video or play a game while we feed      him (or in case he takes that effort to eat all by himself).

Routine....really??Hmm (a deep sigh)! My heart goes out for you my dear friend -  your kiddo is definitely not going to be a gadget reviewer when he grows up but yes be prepared to see your prince/princess  in a big , round and thick pair of extra eyes that he would soon wear up!

One interesting conversation (that I initially thought it to be but later realized, damn, I was the speaker) with a family having a kid aged 12 years and me. So it goes like:

Me: Hello, how are you?

Kid: Shy away; Parent: Looks at the kid.

Me: You have  a very shy child 😊. So what are you doing these days, beta?

Kid: Hides behind his mommy.

Me: Looks at the parent (in a state - is anyone going to answer me)

Parent: He is a champ - has won a gold medal in maths quiz, goes for swimming and takes up dance   classes besides being a topper.

Me: Great! Good luck beta.

Kid: Walks off.

Me: Still wondering - where is the child's response to my hello and bye? Leave all the other things I    asked him. As a matter of fact, where is the parent's response to the same.
I still remember my mother would emphasize and ask me to reciprocate to anyone talking to me  and not make the situation weird.

Teach them to be competitive - in a way to evaluate yourself and see if you have learnt anything new and progressed than yesterday.
Teach them the basic course of humanity and civic sense, they will burnish to the advanced course eventually. Stop enforcing advance courses - Watch out!You and your kid are both gulping in the basics.

An A or A+ has never defined and will never ever define the magnitude of success. Agree, there is a lot of competition and we have to stand it but let that be  a healthy one - who can offer help to the unknown, makes people around him feel comfortable. Let them be a reason of smile on others' faces😊.
Give them a bicycle so that they can pave out the way for themselves.

Teach them the importance of relationships and that relations are not meant to reap out the advantages from them. Teach them that the maid working at your place is not just "Bala" or "Jharna". Infact, they need to be called out as "Bala didi" or "Jharna aunty".

This is not something new that am putting up but yes, definitely, it is a recall of the essence that is forgotten and left behind.
Take them along and gear up yourselves for a better world we want to create and leave behind for generations to come!

Happy Parenting!

More than anything i.e. what is my name, what is my religion, what is my caste, where do I belong to, what is my blood group...I feel, the thing that is important is that I am a "Human Being". And being a human, we all have undergone changes in our emotions since the time of our childhood, as vast as sea....rather..as vast as the sky which has no finite limits!

We are born one day after our mother takes that pain, then we give birth to another generation and the chain goes on likewise. For some, the angels are born, for some prince charming is born and for some the supreme power - the Lord has taken birth (i.e. the families think this child has taken birth to get them rid off from all the sorrows and worries and bring them good fortune). So many feelings and emotions are attached. While some people think in this way, there are a bunch of people who never wanted that baby, consider him to have brought misfortunes, consider him a mistake!!

Life is full of crests and troughs..isn't it?? It is of course!! For some people, all is well observed and seen by other people very clearly, while for few, you need to raise the curtain up. All that I mean to say is that the fortunes/misfortunes, good luck and all such things are not related to any child's birth. Rather, he brings with him the joy, the reason to smile, and acts as an energy booster when you are all tired and really want some break!

Let me tell you, not all are that lucky to live up to the feeling of parenthood. Some have it, some adopt it while others simply become happy seeing other parents playing with their child. You get another chance to relive your childhood :). Is not that fortunate enough for us!

Try to be thankful, modest, humble, loving and caring. Words that are often said in aggressive mood cannot be taken back. It just takes a fraction of a second to finish all your relationships but whole life to mend it. Respect and value them before they are lost forever. Parent child relation is one of the purest form of love and care that anyone could have. Many unspoken things are being said and understood by parents ,which, only God has the power to that , but that too after our parents.

It has been rightly said "God cannot be everywhere, so he created mothers". Value them else its too late.